Who Should Make The First Move?

45 posts  ·  created 6yr ago by yasoshlasuma  ·  last post 3yr ago
Back  |  Forums    First help by dating and love problems    Who Should Make The First Move?

6yr ago
175,135 jpops
permalink I see alot of posts on here by girls who question whether a guy they have a crush on likes them back, and some of the answers have been
why dont you ask him out? or why dont u ask him if he feels the same?
and most of the time, these girls do absolutely nothing about it and the guy ends up in a relationship with some one else.
Im not saying only girls do this, I have seen guys do it too.
What I wanna know is why people do this? Why cant they just confess and let it all out so that the other person knows. I understand that there is a fear of rejection and all that stuff, but I also know that it is harder to see them with some one else.
I recently got some good advice from some one. He told me that if I really like some one, I should tell them, because they arent gonna wait around forever, even of they do feel the same. Eventually, they will end up with some one else.
So, for the question, who should make the first move, I think both genders should. In this day and age, it doesn’t matter who makes the first move, just as long as they end up happy. So, what is your answer to this question and why?

6yr ago
630 jpops
permalink i think, depends.... if you really like the other people... just don't wait, tell what you feel, is the same if you are girl or guy, all we are people, so, if you really like her/him tell!

6yr ago
1,807 jpops
permalink hmm i think both gender should make the first move. Sometimes the girl and sometimes the boy. It must be fair to make the relationship works if not there will just only be fights and break ups all over again. If you really like the person, you should muster up your courage and go for it. Who knows you might be successful with the confession.

6yr ago
18,664 jpops
permalink It's clear!you're right bakaxhui!

6yr ago
4,492 jpops
permalink It doesnt matter who takes the first step.
I know a few girls who are saying that if a girl confeses first, then it means that the guy is some coward or i dont know who. I definitely dont agree on that.

6yr ago
72,872 jpops
permalink I think it's hard for people, regardless of their gender, to make the first move in fear of rejection but I agree that either gender should. If you really like someone then why not?

6yr ago
22,781 jpops
permalink in my country...the boy should make the first move...

6yr ago
1,177 jpops
permalink sometimes the boy make the first move.. but sometimes the girl could make the first move ^^

6yr ago
198 jpops
permalink I think I saw a statistic somewhere saying something like 80% of guys like girls to make the first move.
I've been recently seeing this guy randomly on the university campus. We always gave each other flirty smiles. I finally got the courage to introduce myself one day, and as it turned out, he was just too shy to tell me he thought I was cute! We've had a couple dates since then :)
If you're interest is peaked, at least have the courage to at least introduce yourself. Signals and flirting is another issue you though I think. That junk gets confusing!

6yr ago
175,135 jpops
permalink Flirting is a huge issue in this because it can send out mixed signals... And just becoz u think some one is flirting does not necessarily mean they r, so we may like some one and think they r interested in us too, which can cause problems later on.

6yr ago
54,780 jpops
permalink I don't think it necessarily matters who makes the first move since the end result(s) would be the same (which would be either the feeling being mutual or being rejected), though some girls might prefer guys making the first move since it's seen as more "traditional" I guess.

Personally, I made the first move because I knew I liked the guy and I knew he liked me (though he made it pretty obvious) and I didn't want to wait around for him to ask me out/tell me that he liked me so I just did it. He was kinda taken aback since he was planning on asking me out, but he was just waiting for the right "moment". Haha, he sometimes reminds me how I ruined his plans XD

6yr ago
594 jpops
permalink if you like a person enough and your confident enough ask or i also think the issue is that most people dont think there good enough some of my friends actually rank themselves and others and so if a guy walks past and they think his cute or they have a crush on someone at school they automatically think oh his and 8 I could never get someone like that, and so they constantly degrade themselve so i honestly think its more to do with how as girls we really need to stop 'ranking' each and instead encourage by saying honeslty what we think like well his good looking but he may be an ass haha ect. ect. i wish girls would be more honest with each other and not put so much pressure on each other like WTH is with the ranking sorry it gets me really mad cause girls should be supporting each other not ruining maybe then girls would fell more confident in asking and i think the same for the boys (talked to my bro bout it)

6yr ago
8,328 jpops
permalink I think, the guy should sometimes make the first move and sometimes the girl should make the first move. Balance it out. ^^

6yr ago
828,868 jpops
permalink i'll give a simple answer as i'm searching for the right answer too.. it should be depends on the situations i guess on which gender should make a move first. but well if both waiting then.. hurmm.. 0 result will be found lol

6yr ago
141 jpops
permalink In the past, it has been socially expected that the guy make the first move, and so that is what the modern expectation is. But I think that if you really like someone, the pressure of public expectations can be thrown out the window. Socially accepted has never really been in my vocabulary, so I don't really understand why some of my friends think it is "Socially unacceptable" for a girl to make the first move. 2 of my 3 relationships came from the girl making the first move, not including my current one(where again, she made the first move).

6yr ago
11,659 jpops
permalink I think guys should make the first move but i also think girls should as well! :)

6yr ago
2,181 jpops
permalink both genders can make the first move of they like someone :) You will always have some shy girls who don't dare it and for those a boy who dares it, would be nice. But there are also boys who are shy and they would like a girl to make the first move, so really. Wether you're a boy or a girl, if you like someone, just make the move if you dare :D

6yr ago
42,597 jpops
permalink it doesnt matter. I HATE the culture here that the dude always has to do everything first. i've NEVER made the first move ( and i've also never dated oddly enough) but I REFUSE to stoop to cultural pressure. I think that if you like someone u should take the initiative regardless of what gender you are. Ladies, be proactive and ask people you like!!!

6yr ago
365 jpops
permalink I always make the first move! Y a Y !

But in a friendly way~ I just to make friends. ♥

6yr ago
31,463 jpops
permalink hmm... either one :)

6yr ago
246,369 jpops
permalink the boy :)

6yr ago
65,729 jpops
permalink depends if you're sure he like you too you can do it, if not you can be rejected and than it's better to leave him to make the first move

5yr ago
36,515 jpops
permalink I definitely recommend the boys. Only because its their part to play.
Girls, ... Dont make the first move, unless you really want to?? i dont know.

5yr ago
20,874 jpops
permalink Anyone can make the first move. I know it is traditionally the male who is expected to make a move...but sometimes a lady just has to take the reins! Really whoever wants to should make a move.

5yr ago
29,315 jpops
permalink I go with the boy to make the first move

5yr ago
2,036 jpops
permalink If you are shure about what you want why not make the first move
but if you are more traditional let him make the first move

5yr ago
29,315 jpops
permalink Either person

5yr ago
229 jpops
permalink I made the first move on a guy once and later he said that he liked it, cause he was to shy to do it. But it was so scary that I never did it again and just waited for the guy to make the move:-)

5yr ago
377,126 jpops
permalink Personally I think it's stupid when girls say the guy has to make the first move! What if they both like each other and the guy is too shy to do anything? In that case if the girl wants to make the first move she should do it! I mean women want equality right? Then they should put in equal work in starting a relationship!

5yr ago
346,658 jpops
permalink REMOVED - SPAM

4yr ago
3,590 jpops
permalink it doesn't matter

4yr ago
57,533 jpops
permalink for me the guy will take the first move ...

4yr ago
568 jpops
permalink I think it's up to both to do something.

4yr ago
64,535 jpops
permalink It doesn't matter who~

4yr ago
12,071 jpops
permalink I don't think it matters.
They either like you back or they don't.
The thing about crushes is that sometimes you get crushed, but it's better than living with that "what-if" hanging over your head, you know?

That said, I don't think I ever will hahahaha

4yr ago
125 jpops
permalink for me in general if a girl likes a guy,
she'll confess but is too scared,
cause he might not feel the same way,
thats why he didn't confess,
because he didn't like her,
or it could be the other way around ...
but thats just me

4yr ago
11,927 jpops
permalink It doesn't matter at all who makes the first move~
People always say "oh, it has to be the boy" but what if the boy's too shy? If the girl never made a move then they could end up never being together

4yr ago
14,383 jpops
permalink It always depends on the situation.

4yr ago
377,126 jpops
permalink I don't care what gender you are if you like someone you make the first move!

4yr ago
710,940 jpops
permalink Everyone always says the guy has to make the first move but I think that's such a load of baloney~ if you like someone, let them know you're interested. Both people in the relationship has to put in the effort to make it work.

4yr ago
129 jpops
permalink I honestly don't think it matters. Personally, I think assertiveness can be attractive. For some reason, girls aren't supposed to ask the guys out, buuuuut if you like someone, then go for it! If they decide to be a jerk about it, then they're not right for you anyway, so consider yourself lucky for dodging a bullet. If they are nicer and just say no, then hey, at least you know and you can move on sooner rather than later. :)

4yr ago
27,445 jpops
permalink I really wouldn't say that it matters, i've been asked out twice and i've asked somebody twice haha v.v

4yr ago
25,721 jpops
permalink I have always been the one to take the attitude, but i wouldn't mind otherwise

3yr ago
10,657 jpops
permalink Either one of them. If you really like or are interested in the guy or girl, then go ahead and make the first move. You'll never know until you try, after all.

3yr ago
62,983 jpops
permalink Either is okay... :)

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