HAPPY NEW YEAR! May 2009 be a good year for everyone and may every single day be filled with fun, laughter, joy and peace! Ima kinda excited over the new year because new year apparently means "resolutions" and "a brand new start". XD. actually, what Ima most excited about is the fact that Ima gonna graduate from my high school soon! yeah! and one of my after graduation plans is to stay in Ni Hon!

My host and her family sent me a Christmas present a few days ago and I was really surprised and overjoyed! Its so nice to hear from her once again! I really can't wait for the day when I'll see her and her family again! Should I go Ni Hon alone, or find someone to go with me? I feel like experiencing the experience of staying in a foreign country all alone ah.

有谁能告诉我，幸福是什么呢？
拥有幸福是当你在做自己爱做的事呢，还是是当你不在有烦恼后呢？
幸福是个过程还是个结局呢？问问自己和身边的人，你们都幸福吗？

我讨厌农历新年，每当是新年时期时，我终会闷闷不乐。
不知从何时开始，我的心里总会有种寂寞的感觉。
而因为这样，每当要过农历新年时，我都希望他会带我到他所要去的地方。
我讨厌寂寞的感觉，那种心酸和孤独的感觉真叫人难受。
虽然自己很清楚，他是不可能会带我走的，但期待就好像成为了我的坏习惯一样。
我每年都会不知不觉的，抱着那期待。

D: D: D:

Omfg, Ima so effing pissed with my damn school! My class got separated into two different classes for God knows what reason! Its not like we are going to be a small class next year, we still have 17 students remaining and that is the size of a normal college class! After merging with another class, the new class now consists of 26 members. Not a big difference I know but what Ima actually so upset about is the fact that one of my clique members got separated into another class!

Stupid stupid school! Oh and you know what, they actually went to move forward the classes behind us (Eg, Ima from class 3 and now, class 7 people are in class 3 ; you understand what I mean? ;x).. Its so effing irritating please. Why must they be so mean to do that to us, its already our last year in college. Why cant they just let us spend the last year of our college life with a class that we are comfortable in?

As if all these aint enough, whats worse is that someone whom I've disliked all along is in that damn class and Ima going to be her classmate next year! Someone tell me its just a nightmare please! Ima so gonna dread school more than how I used to in the past. Luckily, its only for another year yah. I'd absolutely die if I have had to endure it for more than that. Sobus, I hate my school!

Anyway, as much as I am angry, Ima also sad to a certain extent too. We've already experienced "losing" classmates through promotional examinations and who the hell would have ever expected that we would be "losing" one another through this bloody merge class issue as well? Ima so going to miss my Home Tutor and my classmates, they are really a fun bunch of people to hang out with. Ima seriously going to miss them loads.


Sigh. Suddenly, I missed the days when I was in Year 1... ...

Hello people, guess where I've been yesterday? I participated in the full marathon of the Singapore Standard Chartered Marathon which is 42.195km and my entire being is just aching to the max at this very minute. I was so close to giving up near the 30km okay. I swear if it wasnt for my friend, I would not be able to complete the race. She was dragging and pulling me along, when my legs went cannot-make-it at me. D: Because of her, I was able to get my finisher's tee and also my medal. .

Ima seriously thankful to her because I did not want to embarrass my school. Last year, out of 18 participants (from my school), 2 of them did not make it and I was so worried that I would be in that category this year. I can gladly say that I wouldnt be in that category now! . Okay, I gotta go study for my diploma examinations which falls on wednesday already. Wish me luck!

Whoo hoo, Ima finally done with one of my diploma classes.. Currently waiting for the examination which falls on the 10th December.. I have no idea what I should do, to find a job or to anime the rest of my holidays away.. T.T. On one hand, I feel like earning some extra pocket money to put into my Okinanwa-trip-saving-funds but on the other, I feel so lazy to work. I'm hopeless.

Been some time since I've last posted an entry here.. Seriously, I've no idea what I should do now. Its like there are two upcoming trips, both to the same location - Malaysia, KL but with different people. I thought of merging both trips together but the people going for both the trips just don't know one another.

And so, because of this, Ima sort of caught in between both groups. One is my group of besties from my Secondary School (In Singapore, our Junior High School is known as Secondary School and Elementary School is known as Primary School) and another group is the Okinawans. Though not many of the Okinawans are going this time around, I sort of promised one of my friends that I would be going already. How, how? What should I do?

I really really want to go with my group of besties from my Secondary school, I've never been overseas with them before and I would really really want to experience it... However, I don't want to break my promise to that friend as well. Sighs~ Just what should I do to make both parties and myself happy? It is impossible to go for both the trips as the dates are kinda close to one another and the most important factor is that, I ain't that rich.

Hi people, Ima back! Went for a cruise trip with my beloved Okinawan friends last wednesday and it lasted for two days two nights.. Kinda enjoyed myself and I would really like another trip like that! I was so upset when the trip came to an end. . I so hate life in Singapore yeah. Its like super stressful, with all the exams coming one after another.. Like in September, I had my school promotional examinations. Then in November, it was my national examinations. And now, in December, I'll be having my diploma (Certified Accounting Technician) examinations.

Just when, when can I relax and enjoy my-youth-life? By the time I graduate from the damn school, I'll be like say, 19 years old? Enjoy what? Zzz. I so cant wait for graduation though. I wanna leave the school, I hate my school~~ Lol. Anyway, will be kinda busy once tomorrow is over. Will be having my intensive diploma lessons for the next two weeks, before I take off for the examinations. So take care people, じゃね！

Omg, been ages since I've last logged in. Seriously too busy with my life after the national examinations. Went back to school yesterday and it was the last day with some of my classmates. (Some of them didnt manage to meet the promotional criteria and thus, they had to either retain or leave.) Our Home Tutor intended to treat us to lunch but before that, we had to play an amazing race. Lol. So basically, I really had a fun and enjoyable day yesterday and my group even came in first for the amazing race okay! (No prizes though )

And so, the school year has officially ended. Ima still required to go back to school though, to continue with my diploma lessons and Hockey trainings. Ima so lazy to go for trainings but I know, if I want to join the A division next year (National Competition), I've to be a little more hardworking and attend trainings regularly. But Ima so lazy, how? I'd rather spend my free time watching animes and go shopping rather than attend practices. Sigh~ I've to end my post here right now as Ima attending my friend's 18 year old birthday party. Am so lazy to even move from my current position.. Gosh, why am I so lazy??

Hi, tomorrow is my Oral Presentation examination and its kind of weird to say I aint nervous at all yeah. Lol. But its always like that yeah. I'll be super calm before the presentation and as Ima in the midst or near the ending of the presentation, I would be super nervous. No idea why either.. And I think Ima more to the "blend into the crowd" person because I really hate it when all eyes are fixed on me. So I've decided that tomorrow, I shall start enjoying being an attention seeker for the first and the last time in my entire life. (Even when I do present in the past, I don't really give a damn to my audience, fluency of speech and such. I'd go on and on like a bullet train and when Ima finally done with my presentation, I'd usually look up to see a sea of blur and confused faces. Lol). I really hope I can be someone who enjoys public speaking, at least, just for the one day tomorrow. Otherwise, Ima going to be so totally screwed. God bless me!

"Tomorrow's 5pm" is finally here and all I can say is that, Ima seriously sad right now. I got owned by my Maths paper.

Gosh, its my Maths' paper tomorrow and Ima still so unsure of everything. Ima so dead. Please pray that I will at least get a C for my Maths, the school wouldn't allow me to retake if I failed. . Ima so scared and worried. I want tomorrow's 5pm to come now. .

私はほんとに悲しいです！

Went for Mathematics Tuition once again this morning and I was being inefficient as usual. My Maths paper will commence at 2pm this coming Tuesday and I am sooooooooo not prepared for it at all. After that, I will be busy preparing for my Oral Presentation for my Project Work on the 6th Nov. Even though I really hate public speaking, I guess I am kind of looking forward to that day yeah. School will officially end after that damn presentation and whoo hoo, no more Project Work next year!

After Oral Presentation, I'll be going on a cruise with my beloved Okinawan friends. Although the full group aint present, I guess I'm still pretty glad that 8 out of 10 are going after all. My CAT diploma course will start right after I return from the cruise trip and I will have to start mugging once again! Shall really make good use of these two long months of vacation, don't want to be deprived of the chance to go Japan after graduation next year.

じゃ、またね！;D

我又开始从读他所寄给我的电子短讯了。
是什么时候开始的事，为什么我们突然之间不再说活了呢？
我好想好想逼自己去相信他是因为忙，所以才不回电的。
但我又何必继续欺骗自己下去呢？他有他自己的生活，
我也有我自己的生活。我们两跟本不需要对方的存在， 也可以好好的活下去。
在我们认识前是这样，在我们认识后，也是这样。
也许分开真的是一种解脱， 能让我冷静的好好想过。
如果我们真的有缘的活，我们一定会在次的见面的，对吗？

Oh gosh, its finally the last day of school. This has been the day that I've been looking forward to, ever since the start of the year. I shall anime and manga to my heart's content now. Anyway, before I can actually start "mugging" for my animes, I gotta start mugging for those darn National examinations first. I feel so sad simply thinking of that. I wanna go overseas with my friends now. Just yesterday, one of my friends told me that he'll be going to Tokyo this year end to celebrate Christmas, all ALONE! Can you imagine how sad and emo I felt? I wanted to go back to Okinawa so badly (I know Okinawa and Tokyo is not exactly the same but they are quite near one another afterall) to see my friends and family members over there but many of us just couldn't raise the money.. When can I go back, I swear I miss that place a lot...

Anyway, if you're wondering, I went Okinawa for a school cultural exchange programme and I fell in love with that place! When I heard how isolated Okinawa was from Tokyo and the other mainlands of Japan, I was like "Wth? Looks kinda boring.." and I wasn't really looking forward to spending my days there. My friends and I were even whinning to our teacher, asking him to bring us back to Singapore. However, when we finally settled down, it was time for us to leave. We couldn't bear to leave that place and all of us cried buckets. My host family is just so nice, they really treated me like I was part of their family. My Okasan made Obento for me daily, washed and ironed my clothes for me, fetched me to and fro everywhere, bought so many things for me, brought me to all the places of interest, etcetc. I promised them I would return someday, maybe after graduation from college but I guess that plan seems kind of impossible now. My friends find it a waste to visit the same country twice and they would rather use the money to visit a new location.

Well, I don't really blame them for that either because afterall, they'll get to see their hosts next year. (Their school's graduation tour is to visit Singapore for a few days) I wouldn't get to see my host again because she would have already graduated from that school the next year. (She's a year three student) And well, when she came over to Singapore earlier this year, I didn't know she was going to be my host and so, I didn't really take much notice of her either. And now, I'm sad... I wanna return to that place...

不知不觉中，我又开始回想起许多该忘掉的回忆了。
在这几年以来，我学到了不少道理。
一，等≠得到，努力≠拥有。
二，爱一个人太深会让自己更痛苦。
三，感情是真的不能免强的。你认为只要你逼自己去尝试喜欢一个人，你就不会让他伤心吗？不，你错了。
四，男人只会甜言蜜语。
五，绝对不能接受一个自己没把握会长久的恋爱。

老实说，如果时间能倒流，我多么希望自己不会那么傻。

我觉得自己好没用喔~
明明是说好要放手的...
但为什么心里却有种依依不舍的感觉呢？
就好像有个听不见的声音，叫我别放。
就好像有双看不见的手，紧紧地握住我，叫我别放。
我告诉自己，我们是不可能的...
我们根本就活在两个不同的世界，要怎么在一起呢？
现在的我，再也不晓得自己要的是什么。
只知道，我不想再让自己伤心了。

我好累，好累哦。
有个人对我说过，就算没有和他喜欢的人在一起也无所谓。
如果有缘在一起，他们早晚一定会在一起的。
现在，只要看到她开心，他就已经心满意足了。
我认为他这种想法实在是好伟大喔。
换成是我的话呢，我一定做不到。
我知道喜欢一个人不代表一定要和他在一起。
我知道我不应该有那么多要求。
脑袋是这样多我说着，但我的心却贪心了起来。

Gosh, been really busy nowadays, with national exams just two weeks away.. HELP!!! I'm worried and scared. ;x. Anyway, Jay Chou's new album, Capricorn is finally out! Gosh and the songs are AWESOME and FABULOUS! especially "說好的幸福呢", damnnnn emo lah! >.<. I feel emo after listening to it now... ):

我累了，该是时候学会放手了。

I'm finally back home from tuition. Today is the longest day in the entire week and Ima so glad to say that I finally managed to clear one of the thursdays. Anyway, Chinese teacher was kinda sweet today. She brought snacks especially for us because she knew we would definitely drift off with such long hours of studying.. Seriously, I think she's one of the nicest teacher in my school..

Also, my project work group did a reflection on our progress today. I am actually kind of glad to hear them confessing about how guilty they felt for not putting enough efforts into our project.. Well, we're gonna work harder to catch up with the others now! Ganbatte!!!

school was a total bore as usual for today. had four periods of Mathematics lesson and i swear the bloody function questions were enough to kill my brain cells and send them to a horrible death.. i was so drained after completing 24 questions in that 4periods - 2hours and 40mins and i seriously wonder how the hell would i be able to endure the remaining xiong maths lessons for the rest of the weeks until national exam arrives. i feel so sad now !! like ive spent 18 years of my life doing nothing but studying!!

i hate maths!!!!!!!!!!

and then i totally nua-ed (rotted) my four periods of Project Work away.. simply dont understand what my group members are thinking ah!! national exams for PW is like around the corner and they're still playing and having fun!! youtube and chat on msn somemore!!! zzz. seeing what they were doing, i obviously couldnt be bothered to do anything as well. seriously, i think the worst thing that can ever happen to someone is to be placed into a group where the other group members are not contributing a single shit... okay im done ranting and i feel so much better now. ;D. till then, take care people...