I haven't been on in a long ass time and I'm sorry, but I've been really REALLY busy. A lot has happend since the last time I was on. Some of it I can't even remember. But the most recent is that I'm officially engaged to the love of my life, Donald Robert Gebert. He proposed to me yesterday and I have the most beautiful ring. (I also got laid yesterday. lol) Oh yeah that's another thing I need to tell you, me and Don started having sex on August 31st. lol. Also on September 19th we had our one year anniversary and we went out to eat at Takaoka of Japan. (it's a very good and expensive restaurant).......I can't think of anything else.....OH! we both had birthdays. He's 18 and I'm 17. (yeah I know. kinda young to be engaged, but not if you are truly in love with the person) I have to go for now, it will probably be a while before I get on again. So for now PEACE!

Today is the one year memorial of my cousin dying. He was my favorite cousin and he was like an older brother to me. I miss him a lot. He was only 25 when he died. It was a car crash and he went through the windshield and almost got deheaded. I saw his body when I went with my aunt to go identify him. It was bad. It caused my family a lot of mental distress. But today I have a bad feeling about. Because my aunt or my other cousin might do something stupid. I'm kinda freaking out.

Ok I have these neighbors and they owe my mom 23 dollars and they borrowed a movie from us and never gave it back. So my mom was calling them and asking for her stuff, very nicely I might add. All of a sudden they start calling us and leaving messages like they want to fight my mom and that my mom was cusing them out and stuff and she wasn't. So my mom called them and left a message saying that this was the last time that she was gonna ask for her stuff because then somebody else would be asking for it. (And she was refering to this guy that they owe money too also. I won't say his name though) Then they call and was saying stuff like don't make threats to them or they will fight us or whatever. (And just for the record, these neighbors are under 21 and alcoholics and they have a kid together and the guy beats the hell out of his girlfriend) So then they call again saying that they are gonna mow over my mom's plants that are against their house. Well they did and my mom was crying and stuff because her plants are her life. So then my mom's friend Mark came over and he said that we can do whatever we want as long as we're in our yard. So we all (Me, my mom, and Mark) went out in my yard and stood there and looked into their window and they were all cussing at us and crap. So while all this is going on, my mom is yelling at me when everybosy else leaves saying that everything is my fault. And every time I come home from school she's yelling at me for something stupid. It's really starting to piss me off, but I only have a year and a half until I can move out. I think I can wait......hopefully

I haven't written in a while. I've been really busy trying to handle my sucky life. I'm in ISR at my school until the rest of school is over. I got sent there because I didn't want to play football in gym. But then when I talked to the administrator, she said that I have to be in ISR until I get my grades up, and that's not gonna happen any time soon because the teachers won't send me my work. And on top of all that, my mom is not letting me smoke cigarettes! That makes me so mad when we've both been smoking for the same ammount of time and she's still allowd to smoke. And she does it in front of me! But it's ok because Don is giving me a cigrette today after school. And also I went to my friends house yesterday and she gave me 2 cigarettes and I also got high, so it's all cool. I was so mad at my mom though. But I got my anger out by punching my bed and now my knuckles are all scabbed and bruised.

Hello! How was everybodys weekend? Mine was boring. All I did was lay around and watch movies and do house work and then I got sick. I'm still sick. I have the flu and on top of it I have a cold. It really sucks. Dude on the phone last night me and Don were on the phone and he was like......hard. lol. And him being that got me a little turned on. So today I got inspiration to write a sexy story and I've been writting it all day. So I'm all......yeah. lol. And I told Don that I was writting it and he is being an ass and he keeps kissing me and stuff. I told him not to because I might end up jumping on him.

Dude, this one time I got high and called my boyfriend while I was high and he was so pissed. I promised him that I would never do it again, but the truth is that I've been doing it almost everyday ever since. He yelled at me about it, but last night....he got high! His friend Justin told me. I don't know if Justin is telling the truth or not, but I think he is. When I confronted Don (my boyfriend) about it, he said that he didn't know what I was talking about and that he didn't remember doing anything last night after we got off the phone. I could tell he was lying though because he was all happy until I said something about it and then he got all depressed looking. I'm not mad that he smoked weed, I'm just mad that he yelled at me for doing it and then he goes and does it and he lied to me about it. Now he thinks that I'm super pissed at him and I don't know what to do. Should I just let it go? Or should I talk to him about it?

Hey! I dyed my hair last night. It is now, strawberry pink at the top (it's supposed to be crimson) and the rest of it is a combination of colors. Because my hair was black and my brown hair was comming in at the top. so I bleached my hair and when I did the brown was completely blond, but the black turned kind of a really dark orange color. So then when I put the red in it the top turned pink because of the blond and the bottom is a mass of orange and brown and red. But this weekend I'm gonna fix it so it looks better. I love these little rice ball things. They are so cute! lol.

You know how I told you about that meeting yesterday? Well now it's all over with. I'll tell you what happened. My boyfriend's mom came over and we started talking about our grades. Then my mom read OUT LOUD the sexual notes that I wrote. And I was sooooooooooooooooo embarrassed! But I started crying to make my mom feel guilty. lol So it's all ok now. Me and my boyfriend can start seeing eachother outside of school again and my mom KNOWS that me and him haven't had sex yet. so...........yeah. lol.

Ok, my boyfriend and I have been going ouy for 7 months and everything has been going good. Until recently when my mom found some notes that I wrote in my trash. They had some pretty explicit content things on them. lol. But what my mom doesn't understand is that my boyfriend and I haven't done any of the things that I wrote in the notes. Yeah and that really upsets me because my mom called me a and everything. My boyfriend and I haven't had sex yet and we aren't going to any time soon. But now his mom is comming over to my house today and my mom is going to show his mom the notes. I'm so scared. I just feel like crying. I keep thinking that my mom isn't gonna let me see him any more and I don't want that because I love him so much. I have to stop writing now, but I will fill you in on some more details of my life later. Like how much I hate my mom and stuff.