Rawr, these past several days I’ve been sick T-T I hate being sick, it’s the worse feeling in the world isn’t it? Being sapped of energy, not being able to breathe, having snot drip from your nose like it were a faucet >.< My disease was especially cruel though. After two days, I felt fine the next day and thought I had gotten over it. Then the next day I was back to being miserable T-T The world can be cruel, can’t it? Well, I’m feeling better today, and hopefully all the stress from having a ton of homework doesn’t make me have a reversal again XD

While sick, I found that I couldn’t concentrate in class. Lolz, I just wanna say that I thought it was funny that I thought to myself during Biology class “Hm, Zack and I are both sick so it would be OK for us to make out” Lolz, I just thought it was funny when I thought it up XD

I found myself submitting myself to Abe’s will today. He asked me for 2 dollars at lunch today. I asked him why, and he told me he just wanted me to give him 2 dollars, and that he would give it back to me right after he got his lunch. I questioned why he would want me to give him 2 dollars just to give it back to me 2 minutes later, so he demanded me to give me 2 dollars again. I found that no matter how ridiculous his request was, I couldn’t make myself say no to him. I was perfectly content to just doing what he wanted me to also. Me and my submissive nature.

I also found during lunch, while sitting next to him, I all of a sudden had the urge to just lean over and make out with him. For some reason I’ve been having these urges to make out with people ._. Me and my teenage hormones, lolz

I could write more, but I’ll save it for tomorrow. For now, I must go finish my school work T-T I leave you with this amazing video you must all watch. It’s a commercial for bagels we play at our school that has turned into the biggest success the school has seen. Everyone loves it, it’s the highlight of our day XD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLd3f-uTWFo

Today the Anime Club went to Books-a-Million to sit and read manga -_- I didn't want to go becuase I'm against people who sit around and read books at bookstores, but I dropped off someone there since I'm a nice guy and she didn't have a ride ^_^ When we got there, I decided to go in to buy a book for school. I was pleasantly surprised to see that working at the coffee shop was my old friend Andrea. Me and her go way back to my 7th grade PE class, where me, her, Cecelia, and Jonathan were a tour de force, and inseperable group of friends <3

I'm so happy we got to reconnect. I haven't seen her over a year =/ I think the last time we saw each other was at the movies. My friends were a no show, so I was sad, but then I saw her waiting for her friends too for the same movie, so we watched it together ^_^

Anyway, I was very flirty with her XD I can't help myself, she's a beautiful girl (with a nice ass by the way, lolz) Plus I did have a crush on her in 7th grade, though nothing came of it. She had her own crush back then to a guy named Jonathan, the one that was part of our group. Too bad for her though, he came out that was gay, but thats a whole 'nother story to tell. In fact, my pasts with Andrea and Jonathan are their own little stories I'll share eventually =D Anyway, he moved, and I havent had contact with him since. Apparently though, Andrea saw him a while back and got his number, which she gave to me so I could call. I believe I will call him tomorrow to reconnect with him too. He's the only gay guy I actually know. He's pretty cute too Lolz. Too bad Andrea saw him with his boyfriend =/ Oh darn, lolz. And apparently his new nickname is Madonna Boy...lolz. What is it with gay guys and Madonna?

Actually, I've been wanting to get in touch with him since last year when I began coming out myself. He let me know so much longer ago about him, I think I should let him know my orientation as well. I'm a curious man, maybe he can teach me things I don't know yet. PLus, it would just feel good to know theres someone out there like me, someone I can really be myself with. Someone I don't have to feel bashful about my feelingswith. Even I felt a little silly sharing with sammi a pic I saw of this really hot guy. I need a gay friend I can be gay with. Hopefully he's still around so we can hang out again. I really do love the dude, he was my 2nd best friend back at that school (1st was Andrea)

In other news, this dude Zack in my history class today had on a jacket and an undershirt today. It was hot in the class, so when he got up to use the restrrom, he also took of his jacket. With only a very tight undershirt on, his body was on complete display. Gah, I loved it. I find myself very physically attracted to him lately, I just never mentioned it. BUt alas, his body is a sculted work of art <3 And his hair is perfect <3 and so his smile <3 and his eyes <3 and his lips <3 and his clothing choice XD Lolz, I'm such a teenage guy XD

So I had to run my mom around after school today so shr could do some errands. Instead of making something to eat, she just had me stop at Wendy's and go inside to get the family food while she stayed outside in the truck to talk on the phone. At first I grumbled to myself in the confines of my mind, wishing that she would have let me stop further in town to get Burger King, my favorite burger joint. These feelings of resentment for my mother's chice were short lived though, for as I walked into the empty line of the establishment, I found something you rarely see at places like these; I saw a hot employee. Lets describe this man

THis man was not very tall. In fact, He might have been my height, a sad 5'6" T-T Alas, I am a very short person =/ Back to the hot guy though! The first thing I noticed was that he had great hair. Thats kind of a thing for me, people with great hair. For example, I thought this dude in my classes, Justin, was pretty hot, with very nice hair. Then he cut it back, and he lost much of his appeal. Good hair is must! Anyway, the next thing I noticed was his tight clothes. His uniform, unlike most, was tight on him, in a nice way. He obviously had a fit body underneath the unifrom XD The greatest part about his uniform though were his pants. They were nothing spectacular alone, just another pair of black pants. In him though, and they were amazing. They were tight all around, especially in all the right places XD And the way they fit his ass was absolutely amazing. After taking my order, he went around to cook food and other things, and I got an unobstructed view of that nice, round ass while waiting for my order.

Digression: Both days in Spanish this week, I noticed that the pants Abe has worn are tight around his ass as well, and when he sits in spanish, that nice ass of Abe's I've talked about before seem to want to explode out of the seems of his jeans. I love it of course <3

Back to the guy at Wendy's: Furthermore, the man had great eyes. That is always a major plus with anyone (I love my nice eyes <3) He also seemed like a nice, charismatic, cool dude from what I gleaned through his interactions with his co-workers. I'm glad they had to make my food fresh; not only was my food cooked when I ordered it instead of having been sitting there, I got to keep staring at him without him looking back to notice me, and with no one in line to try to hide my gaze from. Seriously, I just want to go behind the counter, come up behind him, and give his ass a nice squeeze; a cheek in each hand XD

In other news: I got in my first real traffic jam today. There was a lot more traffic than usual on 200 today, and then ahead of us there was an accident blacking a lane. The traffic is bad enough on a regular day, and there was already like 30% more cars than usual. Now this mass of cars had only 2 lanes to go through instead of 3 >.< A strech of road that would usually take me 2 minutes to get through took 25 minutes to go through -_- And the entire time I had to have me foot jamming down the clutch since I drive a stick shift T-T My left foot and leg were hurting T-T

I also got the lowest grade on a math test since 10th grade today. I got a 84 on my Intergration, Intergral and Intergral Volume test T-T I havent done this bad since 10th grade when, for some reason, I didn't pay attention in class, read the book, or actually do my homework for an entire chapter XD I got a 78 on that test =/ Gah, there goes my streak of fantastic grades =/ At least I can take solice in the fact no one did well on the test; most people got Ds and Cs, and the highest grade was a 92%. Rawr, I hate that test T-T At least I know that I get play teacher in 2 weeks when the math teacher goes on a training trip =D

I'd like to start out by saying people should not talk to each other in a public restroom, especially when you're using it! I do not want Jacob standing around chatting to me while I try to pee. Jesus Christ, I'm bathroom shy as it is, talking while I go does not help things flow! And then he has the audacity of going from talking to me casually to going into one of the stalls, dropping his pants (up to this point he was still talking -_-), pressumable sitting n the toilet, and then farting out something into the toilet. My god man! Have some decency! At least wait until I finished! And how the hell does he go about talking to me like nothing was going on to crapping in the most obnoxious way possible! Gah, disgust-a-bug! And not in the good way either, unlike some people around here (Rent-a-ho for one...lolz =P) Seeing as, I can't use enter to break up my paragraphs, I guess that will end it for this little rant ^_^ Until the enter button starts working around jpopasia again, this has been your favorite pervert, ~ Ay-sanrnrn

Holy crap, its been 4 days since my computer has had internet. I've been going crazy without it XD

Seriously, I had no idea I'd literally be going crazy without being able to go online. Its such an everyday thing for me, I barely can function without it. Infact, I really cant; I missed a group 4 meeting today becuase I didnt know about the meeting since I couldnt check my email, and I had to have a friend submit my extended essay for IB for me since I couldn't do it myself without the internet. The internet is such a vital part of my everyday life, I dont understand what epople did before it was invented XD

So today seemed like a normal day. Nothing too exicitng was going to happen. I followed my usual routine on days like today: I bought myself the amazing cookies they sell at school, freshly baked, then did my calculus homework while hanging out with friends, then went to English. The bell rung for class to be over, so we got up to go to our next class. Right after this occured and the students were in the hall though, an announcement came over the intercom, announcing our school was under a code red, meaning an imminent danger was present on campus or very close by. The group of friends I was with walking to Calculus was like "Lets go back to Carstenn, I dont wanna go to Calculus" since he's a cool hippie type teacher that would be fun to be with during a code red.

Everyone in class went back, so we all sat around in our desks and on his couches, and chilled for a couple minutes, not know what the hell was actually going on. Mr. Carstenn, our teacher, opened the door to peer outside to see if there was an administrater nearby. After opening the door, we could hear a rucus near the staircase, which we're 3 doors down from. He proceed to scream for us to get down on the forund, NOW!, causing us to panic since it seemed as thought the action was right next to us. I don't know what that was all about, but nothing became of it, and we were fine for the time being. We sat on the ground, silent for almost 45 minutes, wondering what was going on and if we'd be alright. We knew from past experiences that our school wasn't safe (convicts have came running on campus, we've had people with bombs on campus, gang wars have occured, yesterday someone sent our school anthrax) Our sense of panic only increased when we heard like this missile sound being shoot off somewhere around the school.

Eventually, we were allowed to proceed to our next peroid class. Turns out there were some drive by shootings outside of school, causing us to go into the code red. What a school I go to, where everyday is a surprise =D At least it didnt happen while we were all outside for a fire driill...omg, lolz XD

Remember that little thing called Merlin's Magic I was going to perform in? Well, my performance was Wednesday. This was a my 1st acting/dancing performance ever, and to think I was going to be playing the lead role! I was so nervous that day. I was so nervous that during the practices that day I couldn't lip sync to our voice recordings anymore, and I kept messing up on parts of my dance. That didn't help my anxiety at all, lolz. Before the performance though, when I came back to school, I had finally calmed myself down.

Sitting in our adortorium, waiting for our club's turn to perform, I couldn't help but all of a sudden feel pumped. I was so excited to get on stage. Apparently from the people who saw our dress rehearasal the day before, our skit was the best out of all the clubs, and some people's personal favorite. That made me even more excited to get on stage. When I got out on stage for our club's performance, it was an amazing feeling. I didn't feel nervous about being on stage like I thought I would be (probably because I couldnt see the adience with the bright lights shining on me XD) I lip synched perfectly, acted like L from Death Note as well as I could, and danced my heart out. A thunderous applause ensued, and my big performance was over.

After the other clubs performed, at the end of Merlin's Magic they announced the winner. I wanted to win so badly, but instead the crappy Pink Ladies performance won. They win every year -_- I honestly think we would have had a chance if the judges understood our skit better. You had to have known about Death Note to recognize that our skit was based on it. Oh well, I had such a good time, it didn't matter.

The next day, people would randomly come up to me a nd congradulate me on my performance. I got praised by so many people for my performance as L, so I guess I did very well. It felt nice to walk around campus and have people stop me to tell me how great I did. And apparently I was great at my dance at the end XD So all that hard work paid off. The mass recognition is amazing. Of course, all these people actually recognized that our skit was based off Death Note, lolz. I've been told by many that I should have won also. I feel like a winner anyway though, I did an amazing job, and the people watching enjoyed it, which is all I really need.

Lolz, one of my teachers from last year, my Ap US History teacher Mr. Morrison, congradulated me as well. He came out of his class, into my IB History of the Americas class while we took our test just to congradulate his "little brown borther" (President someone, when the US took over the Phillipines, called the filipinos his little brown brothers. When we got to that chapter, he started calling me that since I'm filipino XD) That was such a nice gesture from him, thats why we all love Mr. Morrison (lolz, him, Mr. Carstenn and Mr. Kent all have their own facebook groups since they're so popular XD)

The only slight downer was that when I got home from Merlin's Magic, my step-father got mad at me becuase I was out too late. I got home from it at 9:20, and the first thing he asks me was not "How'd you're performance go?" or "Did you guys win Merlin's Magic?", but rather "Why the hell were you out past 9 on a school night?!" He didn't care about how my performance went Instead, he b*tched about me getting home past my bed time, wasting his money to go run around, complained about me doing this for something as dumb as "Anime Club", living in my own little world, doing things for school that weren't directly ralted to my grades, etc. Not once did he care about how I did, which kinda hurt. He was so mad he literarly wouldn't let me do my homework. And honestly, I had to do Merlin's Magic for my Creative hours for IB. If not, I wouldn't get my diploma. So this had an acedemic tie. Whatever though, not even that could get me down for long. My spirits were high, and nothing could bring me down. I'm a star =D

Recently, me and a friend on here were talking about butt buddies (or, more precisely, me having a butt buddy XD) And so, I think its time I tell you the magic summer of the Nazi Love Buddies =D

Freshman year had ended as summer break commenced. While all my friends hung out with each other that weekend, I was on a plane to Michigean to spend the summer with my cousin. I love my cousin and all, and she lives in an apartment in the city thats close to everything a teenager would want to do, including fast food, a large mall, the movie theatre, a park, a pool, etc (all within like 2 blocks too, it was amazing) Even with all of these amenadies, it was still a bit lonely not having my friends to hang out with over the summer. While away though, I discovered the magic of myspace of AIM. I stay connected to all my friends down in FLorida through the internet.

This summer, Abe went through one of his individual phases, and claimed to be extremely anti-communist. His myspace was filled with saying such as "Go to Hell, Fidel" and the like. What was his solution to stopping the spreading influence of communism? To become a Nazi XD His buddies, incluind me, Robert, Mark and John all became anti-communist just for him too. These people became "Nazis" just for fun, when he proclaims that we were to be his group of Nazi Love Buddies. Lolz, we all thought he was funny. Funny enough, we were all such good friends with him (and each other. In fact, we were our own little group of bros) that we went along with his crazy idea just for sh*ts and giggles.

What did it mean to be one of the Nazi Love Buddies? Basically, we all talked dirty to each other over the internet. It was all in good natured fun, no homo. We were all so flirty and dirty with each other that if you didn't know about Nazi Love Buddies, you would have thought us to be gay XD (what a coincidence, we still all act gay with each other XD) Anyway, for the most part, or to my knowledge, it was nothing too bad, although some of our chats did get a bit wild XD

Although it never escalted to anything more than having a good time flirting with the guys, at time my conversations with Abe got a bit...heavy. The only person it went far with was Abe (what a coincidence) Our conversations went past the sh*ts and giggles of dirty talk to a point more closely resembling cybering. All of this was done in the name of the Nazi Love Buddies movement. Its no coincidence that as Robert and Mark started to stop doing the whole Nazi Love Buddy thing (John was no longer a Buddy because of a fight Abe and him got into), Abe and I were still being Love Buddies with each other.

After about 2 months, I came back to Florida. By that time, the Nazi Love Buddy movement had died down. Abe and I were to last ones in the movement, and eventually stopped since we were the only ones doing it (although to him I was still his Nazi Love Buddy, only now I was his only one) Its a shame I never fully enjoyed what I had with him that summer since I was crazy about a girl named Brianna over the summer. If only the summer of love would return this summer, maybe then I could take full advantage of it.

Of course now, relationships have change. John and Abe resolved their differences and wen tback to being best buds when school started (guys seem to get over things easier than women). Abe and I continued to become closer and closer that year, probably stemming from the great summer we had. Mark and I began drifting apart with a lack of contact at school, and the fact I blamed him wrongly so) for my failed relationship with Brianna. The worst break came with Robert and Abe. Freshman year and that summer, they had become great friends. I still remember what fun we had the 1st weekend I came back and Abe, Robert and I hung out all day. The 3 of us were all best friends with each other. Sadly though, a girl got in between them named Amanda. Robert fell deeply and pathetically in love with Amanda. Amanda on the other hand, according to Abe's point of view, led him on to think he had a chance, then went out with Josh instead. Further, she was too flirty with me and Mark to really be into Robert. Robert got mad at this, and since then hasn't been friends with Abe since. In fact, they're not even cordial anymore. Its really quite sad that they aren't anymore. I miss the days when we could all be friends with each other, when we could all call each other Nazi Love Buddies <3

I never thought I'd get this mad at one of my friends, Mary, but today she proved herself to be a total b*tch even to someone like me over the dumbest thing. Today at lunch, I sat with who I usually do on today's classes: Abe, Mary, Farah, Kirstie, Lindsey, Kyle and "Hawk" (yes, that is what we call him, idk why anymore XD) Well, towards the end of lunch, Abe asks Mary if she had any candy, and she says no. Abe says she's supposed to be a candy shop, and she goes "What? That doesn't even make any sense Abe!" I chime in with a cheap joke "Well you're big enough to be a candy shop =P" which got a few laughs. The first thing I say after that was "Just kidding Mary" because it was a light hearted joke not meant to mean anything. It was a dumb joke anyway. I swear I didn't mean anything by it. She takes it personally though. She gets up to throw away her stuff after I say that, and the bell rings signaling the end of lunch. We all get up to go back to class, and I run over to her just to walk with her. She tells me to go away, and I see she's crying. Thats when I felt bad because I knew then I probably caused her to cry. She goes off ahead of me while I feel bad. Our classroom is upstairs, so she goes up the stairs. And guess who just so happens to be there? he Principle and the IB cordinator, who pull her aside to see what was wrong. I avoid the scene and go straight to class. I couldn't help but wonder what she had told them during Spanish class when I get called out of class by the IB cordinator. Apparently Mary told her that I was making fun of her. Thank god the IB cordinator used to be our freshamn English teacher, so she knows us all personally. I didn't get in trouble because she knew I'd never hurt someone purposefully, it was against my nature. I was told to apologize.

After that, Abe asks what that was for, and I tell him that Mary told the cordinator I was making fun of her. I asked him if he could tell I was just joking, and he said he could. We both start calling her out on being a b*tch to each other because we're guys and understand our jokes shouldn't be taken so seriously. Its not like Mary is even fat, jeez! So I guess the only good that came out of it was Abe and I became a little closer =D

I have a couple problems with Mary's reaction:

1. Friends don't tell on friends. Friends should have your back no matter what. I know I would never tell on one of my friends no matter what he did, I have something called loyality.

2. She makes fun of people all the time and means it too. I make one dumb joke about her and she goes on a b*tch fit when she's absolutely rude towards a few select people she doesn't like. I don't see how she can get mad and upset at me for a comment I don't mean when she's a b*tch to people's faces.

3. It was a joke! I can't stand when people can't take a joke.

4. Like I said, she's not even fat. I dont understand why she took it so personally.

Apparently I'm too sassy and rude for Mary now. I'm becoming too much like Abe, and she doesn't like it. She doesn't like the way I'm becoming. Guess what though. I refuse to change just becuase she's overly sensitive.

And theres no way I'm gonna apologize for joking around. If I can't joke around with someone, I just wont be their friend, its no fun.

Yesterday I went to my best friend's (also my ex's) house. Her parents were there for the 1st 2 hours, so we had some innocient fun watching videos on youtube. We got bored of that though (somehow) so she started playing Kingdom Hearts while I watched Dane Cook's Rough Around The Edges on her laptop. She sat indian style on the floor in the living room, and I sprawled out with my legs across her lap, place the laptop to my side so I could watch.

After that, her parents decide to go visit the neaighbors for a while. How very convenient XD We started get a little...frisky with each other. She stopped playing KH, and we watched Dane Cook together, laughing our asses off because he is the funniest, collest, and one of the sexiest people alive. After that, She started doing something online. She placed the laptop on the couch, and sat on the floor in front of it. I came up and stood behind her. She put her head back and playful rubbed my crotch with her head XD After she giggled and stopped, I sat down right behind her, wrapping my legas and arms around her, pressing our bodies together. I started tickling her a little here and there, and after a while she finally retaliated. She started tickling me, and I'm very ticklish, so I grab her arms to stop her. She started using her feet, so we started rolling around the living room, wrestling with each other. Finally I had had enough, so I pinned her down and laid on top of her, looking down at her with a grin on my face XD

Afterward, she went back to the couch, laying out across it. She put the laptop on her lap, and started playing some online game. I sat down on the floor next to her, laying my head down next to hers, watching. I started to play around with her hair in a flirty mannner. Afterward, I became bold, and started lightly tracing her body with my fingers in a sensual manner, causing her to get chills and become horny (she always tells me when I'm arousing her...lolz) At first she wouldn't let me trace a line from her navel to her neck, going in between her boobs. The second time around though she let me linger in between them. I became bolder after that and tried to trace around her breasts and give her nipples a little rub as well. This she wouldn't have, and blocked every attempt at it. I made a game at it, trying to sneak my way to feeling up her boobs. I was successful once, and she didn't stop me. I didn't want to push any further than I already had because we are just friends, so I stopped after that. I did take out a dollar bill though and stuffed it down her shirt (she was wearing a low cut tank-top, so I put it right between her boobs) She took my money though, stuffing it in her bra. Like that was gonna stop me. I reached into her shirt, lift up her bra, took me money, and got a little peek-a-boo before she could stop me XD

Afterward it as time for me to leave, except I couldn't leave. I was to busy flirting outside at my truck for about 45 minutes after I was supposed to leave XD We just couldn't stop with the flirting like we'd been doing ever since her parents left. Finally I was like "OK, I have to leave NOW XD We need to stop flirting beofre I get in trouble XD" Even after that, we still couldn;t separate ourselves from each other. We just have such great chemistry together. I need more weekends like that XD

Gah, and now I just learned when there parents left they didn't really leave, they were spying on us T-T Waaaaaaaa! Thank god they didnt stick around the entire time, the just saw us laughing to Dane Cook. OMG, if they had stayed any longer things would have been bad, I think I'd be banned from coming over XD

I wonder why it is everytime I'm around her I can't keep my fingers off of her. It just seems so natural to be so sexual with her. Just when I had resigned to me being purely gay, now I'm thrown back in confusion over my sexuality once more. I'm usually not even physically attracted to women, but when I'm with Sammi, I just can't help but want to be as sexual as possible with her. When I'm with her, I can't help it. The only way I can be around her is extremely flirty, extremely romantic, extremely sexual, extremely sexy apparently (she can't get enough of my eyes, they're her biggest turn on) Theres just something about her that truely makes me question everything I think I know.

*Sigh* Just when I thought I moved past my feelings for her, rationalized them, forgot about them with Abe, here they are again, presented in full force forme to consider for another long peroid of time.

Background: My history teacher is real man's man. He enjoys hiking and outdoorsy stuff like it. As a youth, he lived in California, and was an avid hiker/surfer dude. Seriiusly, he is any man's man, he is amazing.

During history today he said was gonna take his boat out to Silver Springs or somewhere like that enjoy nature as he usually does. He meanted swimming while out on his boat, and someone in our class was like "You gonna go skinny dipping?" as a joke. Our teacher though says "No, I'm past those days..." and started telling us a little story

While he was a teenager, he and 4 of his buddies one weekend went hiking and camping in the woods. They hiked into the forest about 6 miles, set up camp, and enjoyed themselves for the night. The next day, and this is when the story gets interest, they decide they wanted to see what it would feel like to go out and about with nothing on, feeling the air all over their bodies. They figured that they would out a lot further then most people ever go out, so they all start stripping. So there they were, clad in nothing but their necklaces, bracelets, and hiking boots (god that sounds so pornographic XD). So the five men go hiking around the woods naked. They're walking along the path when my teacher notices in the distance an elderly couple walking the trail coming their way. The forst they were in was not very dense either; the trees and such were spread out thin. They hide behind trees so the elderly couple wouldnt see them until they could decide what to do. They could try to run back to camp to get their clothes, but the path came back around, and the couple would be able to see them. The other option was to try to hide in the woods, but there was barely any cover anyway. So they finally decide "screw it" and go back on the path nude. So theres 5 yound naked men walking past two old people in the woods, it had to have been...interesting XD When they walked past the elderly couple my teacher just says "Hey" to them like everything was normal, and the old woman was so stunned she just went "Oh, hi..." and kept on walking XD

Lolz, I thought that was a funny story XD I cant believe that happened XD Honestly though, who decides "Hey guys, lets all go walk around the woods! You know what would make it even better? If we all were naked =D" I love how so many young men are perfectly ok with doing things like this together. Honestly, I could totally see Abe suggesting something like this...and all of us going along with it XD (although I might protest becuase I'd probably get a boner) I also love how open our teacher is about things like this. Only he would talk about walking around the woods naked with his buddies XD

Thank god his class was interesting, I might have fallen asleep otherwise. I've been up late with school work everyday since tuesday night >.< And I havent had any free time since last saturday T-T This weekend is all about enjoying myself though, I deserve it, I've worked really hard this week. Like I was saying though, I was so tired today I found myself literally about to fall asleep at least 10 times during Spanish >.< Its horrible being dead from lack of sleep and then sitting through 2 hours of spanish T-T

Today we had to record our voices that we'd be acting to for Merlin's magic. It was pretty fun, I had no idea I could act like that XD Apparently I was the "strongest in the group" I'm so excited about the dance also, I finally got it down =D Its gonna be amazing going on stage now, I'm actually looking forward to it =D But I refuse to wear guyliner. Hell no. I'll allow them to do a lot to me, but I adamantly will not put on guyliner for my performance.

In other news, today in history class during our break, I was feeling sick (holy jesus, about 40% of IB senoirs are sick all of a sudden ._. I think I'm chatching it too >.< Anyway, during the break, I liad my head down on the desk and looked over Abe's way. During the break he jst stood next his desk like he was a model or something. And I say model becuase the way he was standing exentuated all his features. His strong jaw was very defined; his lips protruded nicely, making me want to give them a long, drawn out kiss; his strong chest seemed to be trying to break out of his tight shirt; his round ass was clearly visible through his jeans; he exuded sexy through his stance. God I love that man, why can't I get enough of him?

I'm porud of myself, I've finally broken the ice between my former best friend Kenny and I. What happened between us? Last year as you might know I felt very strong feelings towards Kenny, emotionally and physically. While I was coming out to my friends about my sexual orientation, I could never muster the strength to tell him becuase I was afraid of how he would react and of conforming the unrequited status of my affection towards him. This past June though, after coming out to all my friends, even the tough ones like Abe and Brianna, I had finally gotten over Kenny, and becuase I had told the only person I thought might actually reject me for my orientation, I finally felt ready to let him know everything becuase I don't like secrets between my friends (you guys know I'm open to discuss just about anything XD) Anyway, so in June, there was a party, and Kenny was taking me home afterward becuase it ended late. Driving home, we talked like normal buds would. Somehow the conversation ended up on porn (c'mon, two guys, what do you expect) so I was like "Argh, I hate when I accidently leave porn up. Just the other day I forgot to get out of some porn sites on the PSP, and my brother went to use it. I would have been ok with it, except that was gay porn >.<" That didnt bother him though, he was perfectly all right with my orientation. And it remained so when I talked to him on myspace that night since we both were gonna be sleeping after that great party. Thats when I told him about how I felt about him previously. Ever since then, theres been tension between us, and the only reason I can think of for us to be akward is becuase of the feelings I had for him.

Well, yesterday, I decided I'd just act like the past 4 months didnt happen, and started talking to him about Bleach since I know its his favorite anime. Today, for the first time since school started, we walked past each other in the hallway and he actually acknowledged me. He asked "Sup?" and did the little head thing people do with it. I think we're finally moving past the way we felt about each other, and maybe we can finally be friends again. I really hope so ^_^

~ Ay-san

My brother was driving today, and the things my step-dad were yelling at him about reminded me of the way he treated me becuase of my driving. For example, we went to Wal-Mart, and he told my brother to park. Thats all he said, park. So my brother starts to park into a parking space that was reaosnably close to the entrance and a space away from other cars so he wouldn't hit any, and my step-dad starts yelling at him not to park in that space although it was ideal. I don't understnad what the big was with that spot, it was IDEAL for my borther to park in, plus he was doing it very well. That got him flustered of course, and he didn't know what to do, but my step-dad didn't really tell him where to park, so he just kept yelling unconstructively. When we finally got in a "suitable" space, I was very relieved. I pulled my brother aside and let him know his 1st parking attempt was perfectly fine (in fact it was the one I would have choosen). Gah, I hated parking with my step-dad, he would want to park in a particular space but wouldn't tell you to go there. I much rather be able to pick my own spot to park in, it makes things so much easier when you let the driver choose where to park. Shotgun drivers are the worst thing imaginable -_-#

And then my step-dad started yelling at my brother when we were leaving Wal-Mart, this time justified. But then he told my brother not say "Yeah" to answer any of his questions, and he could say anything related either. So my step-dad keeps asking him questions like "Did you even see the car?" My brother was left without anything to respond with, so he didn't say anything. Although he didn't get mad about it, I remember he did the same thing to me, except he got mad when I didn't respond, even though he basically told me I couldn't say any of the things one would use to respond to the question. Gah, I'm so glad I have my license and can drive independantly.

Tomorrow's goal: start finding someone to go to Homecoming with. Too bad I can't ask out Abe =/ Or even sammi, she's got herself a boyfriend now, and I'd feel akward asking out a taken woman, even if we were best friends.

And thank god the Colts won today. They were actually playing like they should be today: like Champs =D

~ Ay-san

Time to bring you a journal since its been a while since you've had the pleasure of hearing from me XD

I've been on a TVXQ spree this week, discovering for the firsttime much of their music. My god, I finally see why they're the most popular artist on this site, their music is amazing <3 I haven't been able to get a TVXQ song out of my head for a week now. Today's song has been Rising Sun, which I love so very much <3

My grandma's VW Bug convertable broke down today, and I had to go down and try to jump start her. But her batteries were so dead that I couldn't even jump start her ._. So we had to wait around until my parents could come down and pull the VW back to our house so we could fix it. It kinda sucked standing in the sand for so long in sandal withs fire ants all over the place biting me T-T My feet did not appreciate that. And I didn't appreciate how many people passed by me without stopping to help after my grandma took my truck to go get my parents. They just left me to stay stranded with no help in sight. Does no one have a conscience anymore? And its not like they didn't see me, I watched them turn their heads as the drove by. Hoes...lolz

I got an award from Collegebaord in the mail today =D I've been named an AP Scholar becuase of my excelence in the AP program =D I'm so happy, I have a real award to put on my college applications! Plus I got 20 dollars from my grandparents becuase of it, so thats also nice, lolz XD

My last journal got some good response out of that picture I put up, so I think maybe I should start putting up a pic of the day =D Let me know what you think of my new segment ^_^

Today's link:
http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t202/mathuisland/xcfnvh9p.jpg

This reminds me of my experience on the bus with Kenny during Rape James Week. Its really quite a precious pic if you ask me <3

I was on photobucket and found the sexiest picture I've seen in a very long time. I'm gonna have some mantasies over it XD Heres the url so you can see

http://media.photobucket.com/image/abercrombie_model/MarkboiFL/adamandsteve.jpg?o=217

In other news, Abe wore his tight, thin shorts today. The way he sat in his seat had a good piece of ass hanging off the edge, pulling the fabric super tight as well. I wonder why he sat like that, it had to be uncomfortable. Oh well, I got a great view all class <3

Get my title? A fantasy about a man? Lolz, I learned a new word today, and I love it, becuase I have them all too often XD

My dance is getting better, I have most of the moves down, although its not fluid or on time yet XD I'm loving the dance though, its so muich fun to do, and the song is infectious XD

I have hours of homework to do tonight, so I think this is gonna stay short since nothing important is jumping out for me to say...its weird, usually I always have something to discuss. Hopefully you guys arent disappointed by my lack of a life right now XD

I will say this though: I've become a full fledged TVXQ fan now XD Tonight is download TVXQ music night XD And history terms night...

And now I must get back to work or I shall never finish before midnight T-T

http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/haruhi/harehareyukai.htm

Thats a link to the dance I have to learn for Anime Club's skit that we're doing for our school's Merlin's Magic competition XD I'm actually having fun learning it, and now I'm obsessing over that song XD I think our skit will be amazing. Its based on the anime Death Note. I'm L, and poor me, I've lost my apple pie T-T So I send in the task force to find out what happened to my apple pie. Turns out, Light has been working for the opposing school (yeah, we have to do it as part of the rules and regulations) and I get my apple pie back =D Afterward, the music starts, and we do that as a victory dance XD Its gonna be so fun =D

Too bad I also have to do a skit foranother club as well T-T So much work T-T

In other news, I was feeling confused light night. I found out my ex, Samantha, found herself a new boyfriend. Its been a month and all, and I'm already over her and into someone else myself, but I don't know, I just didn't get a pleasant feeling knowing she has another man. And I don't understand why my heart cared, I've pretty much established that I like guys better than gals anyway, so whats the big deal if my ex girlfriend finds herself a new boyfriend? Gah, the workings of teenage emotions escapes me >.<

Speaking of yesterday, I accidentally left my truck's lights on, so my truck wouldn't start T-T I had to wait for my grandpa to come to jump start me. But instead of that, he had my brother and him push the truck and pop the clutch to get it to start, which didn't work at all XD I felt like I was in a scene from Little Miss Sunshine or something, lolz XD He finally gave up and just jump started us -_- I dont understand why he didnt do that in the first place *shrugs*

In other non related news, I failed my spanish test today, and I am currently super stressed about the tons of history terms I have to type out by Thursday T-T I'm so busy, I have Calculus homework, an English Presentation, a philosophy paper, 8+ hours of history terms/journals/issue assignments, a history test, and a spanish oral all coming up in the next 2 days. Pile that in with my Merlins Magic practice before and after school, college apps I have to complete, and other life events, I have so little time to do anything T_T

My 1st homecoming journal =D

Memebers of SGA are responsible for putting together Homecoming. I was put in charge of decorations for homecoming. I wonder what the class president was thinking putting a guy in charge of decorations -_- Anyway, our theme this year is "spooky", so I've been trying to come up with ideas over the weekend of how to decorate to make our Homecoming spooky. I'm kinda frustrated with it though, becuase I'm restricted in what I can do. For example, I can't use or suggest blood, I can't have vampirism, witches, wizards, etc. The administration is basically saying "Make it spooky, but a cutesy spooky =D" which is hard to do >.< If anyone has any general suggestions as to what I should do, please share with me. Help a poor male party planner out XD

The homecoming thing has got me thinking about who I should ask to go with me. I'm wondering if I should invite Sammi or not. I don't know how that will go though, seeing as we basically ended things between us...not to mention bringing her along to a different school where she doesn't know anyone would make me feel obligate to keep her company, and I'd like to hang out with all my friends there.

Then theres Brianna possibly, but I dont even know that she'll go in the first place. Not to mention I don't wanna get people talking about us again >.<

And the person I'd really like to spend the night with is obviously unavailable. One, Abe has a girlfriend he'll be going with. Two, I doubt he'd even go with another guy (unless his name was Bri-Bri...lolz) Oh Homecoming, why must you rub in my face that I have an unrequited love interest T-T

I got a pleasant surprise today: instead of the mundane routine of not doing anything saturdays, my step-dad surprised us all by telling us we were taking a trip to Gainesville =D He wanted to go buy a gator biking jersey, and took us along for the ride. The price was ridiculous though: 200 dollars for 2 jerseys @_@ He should have given me that 200 though, becuase afterward we ate dinner, then went to the Oaks Mall. Sure, my city has a mall too, but its so small >.< The Oaks Mall though is so huge. It has I believe over 100 stores. Of course, most of them I'd never go to, but it has a couple important stores my mall lacks: Abercrombie and Fitch, Buckle and Pac Sun. Good thing I've had money saved up, becuase I got an opportunity to buy a jacket from A&F

I love A&F so much <3 The music they were playing in their was so infectious, I was tempted to ask someone where I could get all of it XD Honestly though, I was a little dissapointed by the employees though =/ I expected the employees to all be very hot becuase of the very high standards the store is known for. I was dissapointed though, the employees were not the best looking people at the mall...Except the african-american girl working there is by far the hottest african-american I've had the pleasure to see for myself XD At least I can find solice in that the employees at my mall's Hollister are hotter, and thats the store I usually shop in anyway XD

A special section goes out to Abercrombie's cologne. OMG, honestly, it is the best smelling scent I've ever had the pleasure of smelling. The jacket I bought is endowed with the scent, and I couldn't stop sniffing it XD I wore it to Wal-Mart afterwards even though it was nice outside just so I could smell the cologne. I think I've added something to my christmas list, lolz XD

While at the mall my brother and I noticed something: there is a disproportionate amount of asians in Gainesville XD They are the dominate minority there, at least at the mall anyway >.> Its probably becuase all the smart asian kids in Florida wanna go to UF XD By the way, Go Gators!

Even though I had a fun day and all, for some reason I'm feeling empty inside, and I don't know why. Somethings missing, or perhaps someone, and I don't know who/what =/

Oddly enough, that reminds me of an observation I made. While eating dinner, waiting for our food, I noticed the manner in which I was sitting and the anxious shaking of my legs were reminiscent of the way Abe sits. I wonder what that says about me, doing something the way he does without even realizing it. Of course, I've always shook my leg up and down like that, and the stance isn't that weird for someone to do, but still...

I have been so tired all day today >.< I totally spent all my energy yesterday doing the spanish reading packet that was due today. I get home yesterday at 5 and started working on it. I finally got too tired to continue on by 10, and I still had pages and pages to do T-T I was so busy with spanish I even forgot my show, Ugly Betty, was on (I'm so mad I missed it >.< I set my alarm to 5 o'clock so I could finish it before I dropped my sister of to the bus stop at 6:40, but of course did not. So then I hurry through my morning routine so I could get to school and finish my packet. From 8:30-9:15 I was working on it, and asking helped from my mexican friend whose 1st language was spanish, and even he couldn't help me on some of the work T-T I still didn't finish, so I hurried through my test in philosophy just to work on my spanish. I worked all through lunch too, so I was busy at work from 10:30-11:47, and still didn't finish it all T-T Good god, that was the hardest spanish work of my life. For example, she gave us a list of spanish words/phrases, and we had to find 8 sinomins and 6 antonims, and even after I translated the list into english, I still couldn't do that section @_@ It was ridiculous >.<

I regret eating two BK Stackers for dinner today, my stomach is upset >.<

I have to start applying for colleges this weekend, namely UF. The longer I wait the less likely it is they'll get to my application, so I'm planing on having it done by sunday.

I unwound today by reading Fruits Basket and watching the 1st 12 episodes on DVD. The DVD version of the episodes seem completely different from what they aired on Colors TV @_@ I wanna get to the part of the manga where they move past what the anime series got to, I've been dieing to know what goes on later on. I've put Absolute Boyfriend and Bitter Virgin to the side: Fruits Basket is taking up all my manga time now =D

Hm, I have more to say, but that stuff is going under a new journal