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kawaiicupie16

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kawaiicupie16

kawaiicupie16 is a girl who signed up 7 years ago. She owns the pretty amazing amount of 3,503 Jpops and was last seen here about 3 months ago

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Journals

  • Introversion

    Posted on 6 February, 2016 (3 months ago) by kawaiicupie16 · 37 views · 0 comments · 0 likes

    I'm so introverted at times that it hurts. I just relocated to pursue a job opportunity right? I'm not living on my own (That's WAY too expensive for me right now), I'm fortunate enough to have family that doesn't mind housing me for a while until I get on my feet. Don't get me wrong, I'm beyond grateful. How many people can say that they have family that would do this for them? But at the same time...

    It's hard being a stranger. I know it's my fam...

    Read more (310 words more)

    I'm so introverted at times that it hurts. I just relocated to pursue a job opportunity right? I'm not living on my own (That's WAY too expensive for me right now), I'm fortunate enough to have family that doesn't mind housing me for a while until I get on my feet. Don't get me wrong, I'm beyond grateful. How many people can say that they have family that would do this for them? But at the same time...

    It's hard being a stranger. I know it's my family. But they're that weird in between of "I see you every couple of years so I remember your name and your face" and "who the freak are you?!". I'm so exhausted, not necessarily of body and mind but of spirit. I'm trying so hard to be normal, to be natural around them but I'm also trying to be respectful. This is not my house, this is not my food, I'm not giving them money, I'm borderline imposing on their quiet lives. I don't know, it's just weird and I've quite literally made myself sick being anxious over this whole thing.

    Not to mention this job which is actually an internship so I'm not being paid. Ugh, I love it don't get me wrong. This is the experience of my lifetime, to get so much from this and to learn as much as I can while I'm here. But then at the end of the day when I want to disappear and recover from being so forcibly social, I can't. I have to remain in extrovert mode while internally cringing over every wrong move I make.

    I guess I'm just complaining right now because I'm still trying to figure out how to make this work for me. It's hard not having a safe space for my mind to go to. It's becoming draining to keep up the pleasant facade of extroversion when really, I just want to watch anime, drink tea, and be obnoxiously weird on my days off! lol I don't want to scare the family though. So I'll settle for doing those three things separately and in moderation. House rules you know? Plus I think the latter of those three might get me prematurely kicked out. · close

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    • Where's the love?

      Posted on 27 October, 2015 (6 months ago) by kawaiicupie16 · 44 views · 0 comments · 0 likes

      I know it's none of MY business but I feel like when you mess with my friends and they come to me hurting then you make it my business. I HATE when friends come to me and tell me their significant other has treated them like straight up shit. What makes it worse is when I have actually spent time with these guys/girls and feel like I know them and respect them for doing good by my girls/guys and they just start acting like idiots. I know this is something that many people deal with but I�...

      Read more (91 words more)

      I know it's none of MY business but I feel like when you mess with my friends and they come to me hurting then you make it my business. I HATE when friends come to me and tell me their significant other has treated them like straight up shit. What makes it worse is when I have actually spent time with these guys/girls and feel like I know them and respect them for doing good by my girls/guys and they just start acting like idiots. I know this is something that many people deal with but I'm not may people. I feel deeply. I care deeply. I love deeply. I don't like bullshit. I don't tolerate assholery. I damn sure don't like when people I care about are treated like trash. It's no wonder it's hard for people to trust and they give up on love. It's so freaking difficult to find friends, and those who can also be more than friends, to rely on completely without reservations. It shouldn't have to be this way though. We all deserve more. · close

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      • That sound like a personal problem to me.

        Posted on 26 October, 2015 (6 months ago) by kawaiicupie16 · 4 views · 0 comments · 0 likes

        I love and hate my job sometimes. I love it because I work at a theme park. I hate it because I work at a theme park. Guests can be SO irritating at times. Seriously, if YOU mess up, coming up to me and screaming and cussing at me is not going to make your problem go away. It also isn't going to make me want to help you. It is what it is though lol at the end of the day I get paid so....
        I am off for the next two days though! I get to hang out and do laundry :) Can you see how exciting my ...

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        I love and hate my job sometimes. I love it because I work at a theme park. I hate it because I work at a theme park. Guests can be SO irritating at times. Seriously, if YOU mess up, coming up to me and screaming and cussing at me is not going to make your problem go away. It also isn't going to make me want to help you. It is what it is though lol at the end of the day I get paid so....
        I am off for the next two days though! I get to hang out and do laundry :) Can you see how exciting my life is? I'm just a giant ball of socializing and doing things with people. NOT. I'll probably hole up in my room and stare at my laptop and/or television for those two days. But at this point it's sounding like a solid plan to me. Let's do this. · close

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        • I never know...

          Posted on 23 October, 2015 (6 months ago) by kawaiicupie16 · 1 views · 0 comments · 0 likes

          Oh. SNAP! Holy. SNAP!
          What do I even say? Haha, I was randomly going to read some fanfiction when I couldn't find one of my old favorites so I did some digging. That digging led me to my old Yahoo account which led me to my middle and high school years of nerding out. THAT digging led me to remembering old websites I went on and now i'm here. I'M HERE! I miss this :) I really do. Oh gosh does anyone post these journals anymore? Is this still a thing? Oh god, I'm a fossil, do...

          Read more (232 words more)

          Oh. SNAP! Holy. SNAP!
          What do I even say? Haha, I was randomly going to read some fanfiction when I couldn't find one of my old favorites so I did some digging. That digging led me to my old Yahoo account which led me to my middle and high school years of nerding out. THAT digging led me to remembering old websites I went on and now i'm here. I'M HERE! I miss this :) I really do. Oh gosh does anyone post these journals anymore? Is this still a thing? Oh god, I'm a fossil, doing what the old people do now. No one has time, no one does JPA journals anymore lol "go home kawaii, you're drunk!" essentially :D
          Oh well, Imma be a fossil cause this is priceless. I'm feeling nostalgic. You know what though, I should have been posting these journals all along. They help so much. Like that time when I wanted to freak out about KDramas and my friends were being butts; could have posted a journal! Or that times when this little manga that you might have heard of called Naruto ended and I was having an existential crisis but my friends were judging me for still having been watching it; could have come here! OR, that time I went to a convention and spent way too much money and my parents were questioning my actual age but I was like, "it's cool, it's called credit"; I COULD HAVE COME HERE AND POSTED A JOURNAL TO TELL ANYONE WHO WOULD LISTEN/READ ALL THE COOL SHIT I SPENT MY FUTURE MONEY ON!
          But I digress, I'm here (hopefully i'm not spaztic enough to not be consistent...) and I'll post to my heart's content. Even if no one is reading/watching. But maybe that's better lol
          I never know what's gonna come out of my mouth these days :D · close

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          • This thing called LIFE

            Posted on 24 January, 2013 (3 years ago) by kawaiicupie16 · 540 views · 0 comments · 0 likes

            I'm gonna write all my goals for the immediate future lol this is gonna be grim.

            1. Figure out where I'm gonna be living next year. SOON.
            2. Get some type of order to my coughlovecoughlifecough or lack-there-of? You confused? Yeah, me too.
            3. Not fail college because I'm completely absorbed in books and other distracting things.
            4. Also not fail because I can't pay my bills.
            5. Not harm anyone because of how irritating they are. Possibly spend less time around certain ...

            Read more (238 words more)

            I'm gonna write all my goals for the immediate future lol this is gonna be grim.

            1. Figure out where I'm gonna be living next year. SOON.
            2. Get some type of order to my coughlovecoughlifecough or lack-there-of? You confused? Yeah, me too.
            3. Not fail college because I'm completely absorbed in books and other distracting things.
            4. Also not fail because I can't pay my bills.
            5. Not harm anyone because of how irritating they are. Possibly spend less time around certain individuals and that will stop the homicidal tendencies haha
            6. Not sound like a broody female-dog every other day.
            7. Be happy! I'm at the prime of my life. Well, one of the primes anyway :)
            8. Stop feeling sorry for myself. It's not healthy, and I've got nothing to feel sorry about. I'm a good person. I do good things. I have awesome family and friends. What's wrong with me? I've got issues lol
            9. Don't let other peoples' moods affect me. That's also not entirely healthy.
            10. Maybe call my parents more. That might be a good thing...
            11. Stop procrastinating! That just makes my head hurt more. And it'll maybe stop me from forgetting important things.
            12. Stop worrying about money. God, I'm only 19, I need to get this chip of my shoulder. Fast. Before I start aging rapidly.
            13. Take healthy breaks. Not hole-up-in-my-room-and-read-fanfiction-or-watch-dramas breaks. Take a walk, go out with friends, or clean a little.

            I think that's a good wish list. I'm gonna be cliche and say:
            Keep Calm and Carry On girl, you got this thing called LIFE.
            That goes for all of you who see this, don't let it get you down. It's entirely too short. Don't be like me, don't fall into self doubt all the time. Especially when you've been blessed with good health and good people surrounding you <3 · close

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            • Gotta Love Technology, eh?

              Posted on 19 January, 2013 (3 years ago) by kawaiicupie16 · 18 views · 0 comments · 1 likes

              Boys. Men. Males? Whatever we call them, they're a pain. For me anyway.
              I wish the one that I am currently at odds with was easier to read. I really can't even begin to describe how utterly confusing the whole situation is, for me anyway, because of course I have absolutely NO IDEA what's going on in his head! Ugh. Then again, I could be completely over analyzing everything. I tend to do that...
              I talked to a really good friend today. She set me straight, gave me some amazing a...

              Read more (166 words more)

              Boys. Men. Males? Whatever we call them, they're a pain. For me anyway.
              I wish the one that I am currently at odds with was easier to read. I really can't even begin to describe how utterly confusing the whole situation is, for me anyway, because of course I have absolutely NO IDEA what's going on in his head! Ugh. Then again, I could be completely over analyzing everything. I tend to do that...
              I talked to a really good friend today. She set me straight, gave me some amazing advice. Now, I have to decide what I want to do with it.
              This probably sounds like gibberish but it's helping me lol I'm not raging like I was earlier. I'm so frustrated. I don't want to end up making a fool of myself but I want answers! And there lies the heart of the matter. How to not make myself seem like a desperate harpy. I'm not desperate, at all. But who wants to come off that way? Who wants to seem like a twit? UGH!!!
              I know I probably just scared some people lol and a couple of others now think I'm insane. Or stupid. Or both. That's fine though; the great thing about the internet is that I can let my feelings escape from my mind without fear of being judged with bias. That's especially easy on a site where most of us ignore the crazies not talking about something relevant :D Gotta love technology eh? · close

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              • I thought college would be fun!

                Posted on 17 January, 2013 (3 years ago) by kawaiicupie16 · 19 views · 0 comments · 0 likes

                So, today. Today was quite the day.
                First, I woke up late. Yeah.... but I also discovered that one of my bestest friends is in my class so Yay!
                Then, Japanese kicked my butt. I didn't do too hot on that quiz...
                Oh and mother nature decided to be a butt head!
                Next up was being harassed by a rude stranger in a crowded building. "We're all trying to move." Really sir? Really? Cause you standing there doesn't look like movement to me!
                Final nail in the coffin: Lost my ...

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                So, today. Today was quite the day.
                First, I woke up late. Yeah.... but I also discovered that one of my bestest friends is in my class so Yay!
                Then, Japanese kicked my butt. I didn't do too hot on that quiz...
                Oh and mother nature decided to be a butt head!
                Next up was being harassed by a rude stranger in a crowded building. "We're all trying to move." Really sir? Really? Cause you standing there doesn't look like movement to me!
                Final nail in the coffin: Lost my ID. Which is basically my food. Cost me $15 to replace (which I don't really have, I am the definition of a poor college student lol) and when I called my dad to rant, he blamed me O.0 Thanks dad, love you too haha
                I'm just being me though, college is definitely fun. I'm enjoying my experience.
                Currently, my roommate and another friend of ours is listening to this weird song about touching tra la la? Yeah, I don't know lol but i'm glad I finished my homework before they decided to have happy hour. · close

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                • Wow. It's been.... forever!

                  Posted on 16 January, 2013 (3 years ago) by kawaiicupie16 · 25 views · 4 comments · 1 likes

                  It's been literally forever since i've posted a journal here lol I feel like an old person coming back to a long ago tradition or something! I also feel like I might be one of the only nerds who still does this on this site.... I could be wrong, I probably am. I am wrong a lot these days... ANYWHO! I did come here for a reason, mainly because I missed JPA <3 Yup! Missed it a lot. There's a story why actually :)

                  So, being the dork that I am, I was watching the "Power&quo...

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                  It's been literally forever since i've posted a journal here lol I feel like an old person coming back to a long ago tradition or something! I also feel like I might be one of the only nerds who still does this on this site.... I could be wrong, I probably am. I am wrong a lot these days... ANYWHO! I did come here for a reason, mainly because I missed JPA <3 Yup! Missed it a lot. There's a story why actually :)

                  So, being the dork that I am, I was watching the "Power" episodes of Naruto Shippuden (Yes, I'm one of those. I STILL watch Naruto. What can i say, I'm loyal to a fault :D) and I was really happy with what I was watching. For the most part. Come on, those of you that watch the show know what I mean; There is a certain cheese factor to the show and you sometimes want to pimp-slap every character at least once per episode. That being said, I went to a certain website that shall not be named to check on the release of the new Naruto chapter and a thread about Kiba caught my eye. Now, Kiba is my man; I LOVE him. So under-appreciated that one. I come to find that everyone on the thread is basically bashing the poor guy. It kinda hurt, I'm not gonna lie...
                  Now, I'm not saying, "EVERYONE SHOULD LOVE HIM CAUSE I DO!!!" But damn, those comments were pretty harsh. What really shocked me was the shear animosity between some of the people on this thread. I've never seen anything like that and I'm no stranger to heated anime debates. Bottom line: Why all the hate? I'm pretty sure Masashi Kishimoto and all other Manga-ka for that matter didn't write/draw their creations to spread hate. It's a story guys! Have fun with it! For goodness sake, don't issue death threats to people because they hate Sakura or think Kiba is a useless motherf@#$^r *coughtotalBScough*.
                  How does all of this relate back to JPA you ask? Simple, back 2 years or so when I was on this website constantly (Maybe I should consider a comeback!) I was never threatened, or attacked, or felt like I would be because I happened to disagree with someone in the forums. I feel safe here, as it should be; we all share the same interests so why should we be ripping each others throats out O.0

                  In short (After all that ^ right :D) : Thanks JPA family for making my high school years fun. This was, and is still, my little safe outlet for nerd-dome <3

                  DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK!!! · close

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                  • JPA For The Soul

                    Posted on 21 February, 2011 (5 years ago) by kawaiicupie16 · 401 views · 0 comments · 0 likes

                    Wow, it's been a pretty long time since i've posted a journal on JPA. I've been on the site, i just haven't posted a journal. Weird huh? Well, it's been a very busy year. Very busy. I've been living it up as a senior! when i say living it up, i mean stressing about classes and getting accepted to college. Yup, going crazy basically. Senior year is HIGHLY overrated. Nevertheless, it is fun. Crazy, but fun XD One change in my life (Besides the insanity of being a seni...

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                    Wow, it's been a pretty long time since i've posted a journal on JPA. I've been on the site, i just haven't posted a journal. Weird huh? Well, it's been a very busy year. Very busy. I've been living it up as a senior! when i say living it up, i mean stressing about classes and getting accepted to college. Yup, going crazy basically. Senior year is HIGHLY overrated. Nevertheless, it is fun. Crazy, but fun XD One change in my life (Besides the insanity of being a senior) is that i have bangs now :) Yeah, it's weird and i probably look like an idiot for flicking my head to get the hair out of my face every 2 seconds, but i like them. Also, i'm on prom committee. I figured i might as well. My friend, and amazing twin from another mother, is making my dress for me. It's gonna be gorgeous and i trust her implicitly. Best thing is that no one else will have it. No one! Completely original! So, that's just a slice of all the drama in my life. There is so much more. Hopefully i'll get more of it up here as time goes on. I need to reconnect with journaling on JPA. It's good for the soul. · close

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                    • Busy Bee Me!

                      Posted on 11 June, 2010 (6 years ago) by kawaiicupie16 · 6 views · 0 comments · 0 likes

                      So, for the past two days, i've been volunteering at a day care. It was a lot of fun and i plan on getting some more service hours during the summer. I liked working with all the little kids, even if they are bad sometimes!
                      Tonight, i'm going to Citywalk with my peeps! It's gonna be fun. It's actually two of my friends' birthday. We're celebrating that and the beginning of summer. Fun!
                      After that, i have to check the status of my summer reading. I ordered the book...

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                      So, for the past two days, i've been volunteering at a day care. It was a lot of fun and i plan on getting some more service hours during the summer. I liked working with all the little kids, even if they are bad sometimes!
                      Tonight, i'm going to Citywalk with my peeps! It's gonna be fun. It's actually two of my friends' birthday. We're celebrating that and the beginning of summer. Fun!
                      After that, i have to check the status of my summer reading. I ordered the book from the library but it hasn't come yet and i really need to get a move on that. I have to read two books mandatory and also it's reccommended to read a book called Mythology. This is AP Literature we're talking about so i excpected this. Plus, i have to do two double entry journals for the two mandatory books. Fun. Joy. So yeah, must start working on that before i start getting into the summer spirit.
                      Monday, i have dance camp for colorguard. It goes on all next week from 4 to 8. That is gonna kill my legs but it is mandatory so i will be there! I have a full schedule for the first summer ever. Not to mention, i'm still trying to get a job. Sigh, i'm in for a wild ride! · close

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