why do people refuse long distance relationships

117 posts  ·  created 6yr ago by akojo13  ·  last post 3yr ago
Back  |  Forums    First help by dating and love problems    why do people refuse long distance relationships

akojo13
6yr ago
3,760 jpops
permalink Really why do alot of people just reject a long distance relationship?

i mean if i give you a date that i will come would you wait for me from a boy to a girl
some boys and girls cheat in a long distance relationship but there are those who are truthful and never get a chance

wintersnowbunny11
4yr ago
11,340 jpops
permalink because people suck sometimes tbh. :c from what a lot of people say, the chances of long distance relationships working out is really small because of the fact that well.. that they arent there with each other. some people find it harder to be with someone they cant physically touch and be with. others, its trust issues. :c I know this feel honey.. All my relationships have been this way.. its hard and mine never have ended well. :c

Zeeppo
6yr ago
378,518 jpops
permalink Because they understand they are generally doomed to fail. Humans are social animals. You are working against that in a long distance relationship

akojo13
6yr ago
3,760 jpops
permalink in a way i dont believe that for one we are more than capable of doing that and yea were social but does that give boy/girls the right to cheat on each other i seen many long distance relationships work out but allot of girls/women and men/boy never give a person the time we are animals yes but god give us a brain for a reason and we still misuse it

ParisaWong
6yr ago
19,679 jpops
permalink a lot of effort and trust needed for this. effort compliance a lot of other stuff too~ relationship is a complicated thing, some people just find it tiring and hard to trust the other party.

akojo13
6yr ago
3,760 jpops
permalink that is true yes but somtimes at least give the person a chance to prove himself im mean there are allot of guys that are really serious like my self and dont even get a fear chance because of some screw up playing peoples hearts alot of times men want to prove there love to women but they cant well not so easy but they want to

pam16
6yr ago
27,599 jpops
permalink I have seen a lot of long distances relationships work out!
I think that in order for them to work the couples have to truly care for each other and be willing to put in the time and effort to communicate through phone, Skype or things like that :)
They also have to be very trusting of the other person which is why sometime long distances relationships fail... the couples aren't able to trust each other so then they end up breaking up :(

ParisaWong
6yr ago
19,679 jpops
permalink if we are just talking about one individual, that would be fine to give a chance but there isn't just one person in your life~ to make a thing happens required elements to come together to create it. lack of one won't do the effect... so after all, long distance relationship or just a normal relationship, both parties are to be into it to make it works~

akojo13
6yr ago
3,760 jpops
permalink Parisa san we aint just talking bout one person i mean alot of people go through alot in a long distance relationship including rejection some may be love others cannot be explained

friend4friend
6yr ago
1,315 jpops
permalink Without interaction(I mean actually being in the presence of the person), our minds so to say toy with the relation, those who are faithful come to question if the others really feel the same, or due to the distance if they will at one point cheat. Long distance is quite tricky, without a usual routine to meet with the other person be it one day of the week to travel across town, to even other cities and states, the distance between the 2 is like a thin thread. I don't think all long distance relationships are doomed to fail, I just thing most.

Asia1
6yr ago
207,821 jpops
permalink Indeed dear, I agree with you. I've experienced it and really did cpome to a question if he felt the same, as for me I'd wait for me and him to meet, but he wasn't that sort of a person abd prolly loved someone else or stopped loving me, so really, as Lunaire said - it takes 2 for it to work. And really it's possible, my cousins are happy as they both met threir halves online. ^ ^

lunaaire
6yr ago
3,526 jpops
permalink yup agree with monsieur friend4friend completely! its sorta common sense lol after the passion burns we need to be close to each other unless your bond is that strong and you trust them completely...but experiences in life shape us differently some doubt their relationships with others cos of previous fall-outs whilst others wholeheartedly cherish them ^^'' and lack of physical intimacy and not seeing them is one of the biggest causes of break ups cos you just dont feel that close to them =/ and then doubt appears...and its like what neee chan was getting at haha you need both parties to make it work cos if one is missing then its like trying to fix a leaky boat >< and same rules apply in normal relationships~...so yeah sorta tricky trying to navigate it out but then there are people who manage *coughcoughpassion and his girlfriend XD* LOL ~ but even then he dedicates lots of songs to her on youtube so then yeah =/

ParisaWong
6yr ago
19,679 jpops
permalink to keep it simple...

is all depends on the concerned parties how they build and maintain their relationship, is a package~ regardless is long distance or just beside each other.

is tiring.... even trying to explain or express the views make me tired out~ LOL!

brandon500
6yr ago
5,560 jpops
permalink They probably feel that they just need to be close to that person.

akojo13
6yr ago
3,760 jpops
permalink dont you think if its really someone you love you will find a way to make it

brandon500
6yr ago
5,560 jpops
permalink You know what you are right.

ParisaWong
6yr ago
19,679 jpops
permalink love must be a 2-way. love don't work out if only one sided so to long distance relationship. nothing can beat if both are sincerely love each other :)

akojo13
6yr ago
3,760 jpops
permalink ive seen people happen and they are still with each other friends and family

ParisaWong
6yr ago
19,679 jpops
permalink Juan kun... that's very nice to know~ no doubt there are lovely people out there :)

akojo13
6yr ago
3,760 jpops
permalink yes there are you just got to look hard enough

KaiRayne
6yr ago
60,514 jpops
permalink i met my other half from here and we are a couple states away. after months of talking skyping and calls we finally met. and well i never wanted to leave. ha but had to get back to life and we visited every other month for a few months before getting engaged then spent one week a month for next almost 6 months before getting married. it can work just takes patience love and trust. ^^

Asia1
6yr ago
207,821 jpops
permalink Indeed dear, you are and other people I know from this site are a living proof of that it is possible. :) Too bad I met a wrong guy here and he decided to quit everything what me and him had. :P

HeroFan4Life
6yr ago
8,328 jpops
permalink Awww. That's so sweet! :D I agree with you! :)

ParisaWong
6yr ago
19,679 jpops
permalink nope, I gave up looking for it~

akojo13
6yr ago
3,760 jpops
permalink theres a success story

Zeeppo
6yr ago
378,518 jpops
permalink Because their calling plan makes it expensive

akojo13
6yr ago
3,760 jpops
permalink parisa san should never give up i wont thats for sure sometimes what your really looking for is in your face or in a disguise or just very shy lol

yasoshlasuma
6yr ago
175,135 jpops
permalink i think its coz of the idea of distrust. i mean, you cant really see what the other person is doing and ppl tend to get worried when the other person doesnt contact them when it was planned. i not into a LDR because i dont like not being able to see the person i am with and coz if i dont see them or hear from them, i dunno what they could be doing.

akojo13
6yr ago
3,760 jpops
permalink but shouldnt you have alil trust in them to do the right thing and be with you

Lizzle
6yr ago
1,754 jpops
permalink Akojio, some people know that they have security issues. Knowing this, you can't be in a relationship with someone that will make you feel insecure. You will always think the worst things every time and if you are always accusing them of doing something that they are not doing, like cheating...they will A: cheat eventually or B: Just leave you because nothing you ever do is going to be good enough for the other person because they have made up their minds about you.

Some are just very needy they NEED to see the other person every other day and long periods of time away from their partners make them feel very lonely. I know you feel like people should give it a chance but if you are like the person that I have described, then a long distance relationship is not for someone like that. No matter how many chances you give it, how you feel about the other person, or how hard you try, that is who you are and a match that like that is doomed to fail. Its nothing personal. Its actually a good thing that people realize that they just cannot handle it. In a way, they are doing the other person a favor by not wasting their time.

You should appreciate that these kinds of people are being honest and in all reality are probably thinking about your feelings.

anime77
6yr ago
29,917 jpops
permalink i say cause they dont trust each other that much

bakaxhui
6yr ago
1,807 jpops
permalink Long distance relationship can cause either party to have a change of heart so it's best to avoid it. That's what I think about it. Saw a lot of this kind of cases.

supermilo501
6yr ago
1,823 jpops
permalink Even they trust each other, there are still some obstacles that will tear them apart even further, without knowing how well the other person is, without any kind of communication or at least to be able to hear voice ~ That's just too painful to bear it .. Even you can bear it, but can your lover bear it ? Trust is amazing, but it comes with great pains, tears and suffer .. I had tried, but it seem my lover suffers a lot . . and it lead us to break-up . . . Long distance can work with other couple as well, but they need to be strong and well-trusted in each other, if you and your partner understand and can bear the suffering, then long distance relationship could work for you .~
This is from my own opinion, so i'm sorry if i say something wrong here ~

Asia1
6yr ago
207,821 jpops
permalink I agree that it takes a lot of courage and trust, but if the other stops loving you and loses interest it shows that maybe strating it wasn't a good idea at all, as true love bears everything.

AraKun
6yr ago
4,492 jpops
permalink It's possible and it's not way too different from if a couple would be together in live, next to each other. If you meet someone online with who you fall inlove and think that he or she is for you, then you should atleast try.
If the worst comes, you'll atleast gain experience.

milktealover89
6yr ago
54,780 jpops
permalink It's hard and takes lots of effort to maintain, especially if either of you have issues with trust, insecure, or just plain needy.

Plus, I think the physical aspect of a relationship is important too. I'm not talking about sex, but just having that person next to you, being able to kiss them, or just hold them in your arms...you just can't have that type of intimacy in a long distance relationship. Unless of course you have the time and money to see each other often.

RagdollAlice23
6yr ago
290,578 jpops
permalink becuz they are scared of getting hurt and not being able to see where it can lead them

HeroFan4Life
6yr ago
8,328 jpops
permalink I agree with this. *Nods*

TwinklingStar
6yr ago
21,651 jpops
permalink Maybe because of trust XD I dont know. I don't have a boyfriend. (Forever alone, LOL)

HeroFan4Life
6yr ago
8,328 jpops
permalink I think it's like this... People are scared to go into online relationship. Reasons:

1. They don't know who they're talking to really, they can be talking to some crazy person!

2. They are afraid of getting hurt; Either physically, mentally, or emotionally.

3. It's hard to be patient sometimes with your partner that could be half way across the world ~ You want to be with him or her A LOT.

So this all mainly based on trust and patience, people lack that in an online relationship and so a lot of people just avoid them.

Stella95
6yr ago
2,181 jpops
permalink I think if you love someone, you should try everything to keep the relationship lasting. I always say: as long as you love each other, why not being a couple and trying everything? The only reason for a break up in my eyes is that you no longer love each other. It's the same with long distance relationships. Why not trying if you really love the person? Everyone is different and some may cheat on you, but there are probably more people who won't cheat. Just try! you never know if it could work out. Regret the things you have done, but not those you haven't done!! try!!! I know many exemples of long distance relationships who worked out. And even if you break up, then you will still have a nice memory of a person that once loved you!! There is no better memorie then a loving one! And to Akojo13, if you still follow this: keep believing in it! one day you will meet a girl (if you already haven't) who will say yes!

haruharu13
6yr ago
1,039 jpops
permalink Mostly because no one knows what the other person is really doing, its a whole trust thing but it can work if both people really like/love each other and stuff.

MissEvilCow
6yr ago
2,469 jpops
permalink Insecurities and loneliness (T T)

weebllikespie
6yr ago
710,910 jpops
permalink I think the main reason is that people can easily hide things from each other without the other person ever knowing in such a relationship

eduuer
6yr ago
41 jpops
permalink this kind of relationship usually fail... :S

ElleDion84
6yr ago
1,216 jpops
permalink Because it's a lot harder to maintain when you're not together in person, really. Plus people, even if we're made to be social creatures, are downright lazy nowadays when it comes to putting extra effort in these sorts of situations.

But with long distance relationships, I believe there has to be a fully-agreed time to become a real life couple in person. Long distance relationships can only go on for so long, and once the excitement dies down and there's more fights about accusations of cheating, not being online on time, not telling the other where you were when not online, you have to think to yourself: am I happy in the end? Will I be able to spend time with this person in real life? For good? And if such, and if he or she acts like a paranoid psycho (or yourself, depending), is all this stress and anguish worth it? Do you two still love each other in the end? You have to ask and answer yourself and your SO these kinds of questions every so often, keep talking, so you're both on the same page.

I made it work with mine, but just bear in mind of the extra work ahead of the both of you.

Asia1
6yr ago
207,821 jpops
permalink I agree about getting nervous - no one said it would be easy, and I agree that it IS possible to make it work. Need effort and strength and in the end can be happy together. Glad for you that you did. :)

konekoningyou
6yr ago
1,662 jpops
permalink probably because it might hurt more to not see them for so long. They have no control over their feelings in long distance relationships, it's sometimes better for them to get over the person they like/love because it hurts too much just being in that situation compared to moving on, and getting on with their lives with someone who's always there no matter what. I think this is where the whole trust thing falls apart for long distance relationships.

Asia1
6yr ago
207,821 jpops
permalink If love is strong, they will find ways. If not - one will leave and move on. Letting go can't be easier. Only if love isn't strong, but what love is there a talk about then? There is no love if a person runs away to feel better asap, to move on asap, leaving the other in tears. It's just dishonesty and cowardly action. Nothing more. There is no love, if one leaves another sad but wants to get rid of that person as fast as can. It's betrayal.

darksama
6yr ago
828,218 jpops
permalink hmm maybe because they find it's hard to meet each other and sometimes they might meet some one closest to them during that moment...


Back  |  Forums    First help by dating and love problems    why do people refuse long distance relationships
JpopAsia   © 2018             Privacy             Terms            
By continuing to browse our site you agree to our use of cookies, Updated Privacy Policy 2.01 and Terms of Service