Just move on?

8 posts  ·  created 4yr ago by HimeMurasaki  ·  last post 3yr ago
Back  |  Forums    First help by dating and love problems    Just move on?

HimeMurasaki
4yr ago
3,908 jpops
permalink I had a really close friend, who I talked to for hours every day for 9 months. We got along really well, and had a very open and honest relationship. Even though we didn't say so, it was obvious we both liked eachother but we continued just being friends because of a large age gap and I'm a Christian while he has no religion.
Last April, we confessed to eachother, but a week later I told him I couldn't keep in contact with him anymore. He said he would try to become a Christian, and asked if I would wait for him, but I basically made it clear that it wouldn't work either way.
After 5 months, I couldn't forget about him and ended up calling him last friday. We both still liked eachother, but he said he didn't want to continue talking if we'd just end up getting hurt again, and I feel the same way. We talked it over, and he's going to think it over and if he becomes a Christian, he'll contact me, but if he decided not to, we won't have any contact ever again.
So now I can't stop feeling like I'm just waiting for him to text me and say he's become a Christian, even though I know it will take weeks, or even months, and there's a chance I'll never hear from him again.
Should I just move on like it's completely over? I'm worried if I were to start a relationship with someone else, and then he contacts me again, I would be totally confused...
Any advice?

Lunatic
4yr ago
379,732 jpops
permalink Umm... what seems to be the case here?

Guy is willing to turn Christian cause of you. It says to me that he cares about you a lot. My opinion is that the two you will have a good conversation about your feelings and your opinions in general.

If you really care and like him... I donĀ“t suggest you to move on completely.

HimeMurasaki
4yr ago
3,908 jpops
permalink Just curious, how long do you think it would usually take someone to research and come to a decision about Christianity?

nanobanana
4yr ago
3,549 jpops
permalink Different people make different decisions for different reasons and don't take the same amount of time as each other... I don't know if there's a way to predict how long it will take for him to decide.

I feel your pain though and understand what you're going through--I'm struggling with similar feelings right now about someone...

I don't have the best advice but if he doesn't get back to you in a few months then I guess maybe he has reached a conclusion, but it could honestly be longer than that... You can't live your life waiting for someone if there isn't a guarantee that he'll change and you're waiting forever and never get to experience life with someone else who is compatible with you. On the other hand, it's so painful and you might feel like you're missing out if he does text back.

I think you should give him time and allow the dust to settle for a couple months. You should ask some wise people in your life what to do then; other people unhindered by the emotions that you have right now can see situations more clearly.

KuroDango
3yr ago
2,084 jpops
permalink At first, If the girl would reject me cause Im not a Christian, I would turn around and never look back. No offence. If he's ready to become one then that is strong proof that he really loves you. I dont know anything about becoming a Christian, but you can google stuff about it and read all in about a day or so? For small details lets say a week, at most?
Just write him and ask, what he decided. You dont have to wait for him forever.

HimeMurasaki
3yr ago
3,908 jpops
permalink Thx everyone,
He basically made it clear he had no interest in becoming a Christian and had no "time" to research anything, but started texting me with "Religion doesn't matter in love. I don't want to lose you. If you want a relationship with me in the future we need to talk"
I'd made it clear that my faith is important to me, so I finally realized we really have no future together.

YukiAzamaki
3yr ago
28,352 jpops
permalink My opinion is that you wait for him, but in that time you try to get to know other persons.
You never know what can happen tomorrow
Yet another advice, when talking with others, dont go to personal, so that, if he comes to you, no one will get hurt

KuroDango
3yr ago
2,084 jpops
permalink If you turn him down because of some religious things, then you didn't love him enough. All that matters is love, really..


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